The Last Will and Testament of Mr Bliss
by DementedWritingGnome
Summary: It would seem, ah, that the deceased Mr Bliss has chosen a rather, um, unconventional way of informing his beneficiaries.."
1. 1: Prologue

The last Will and Testament of Mr Bliss: Chapter One- Prologue

One by one, the sad, unsmiling people filed into the office of Thackary Hart, the non-magical solicitor that for some strange reason, Mr Bliss had chosen for his lawyer. The lightest, happiest thing in that room was the pale grey carpet. The office itself was a light, happy magnolia; it seemed almost obscene in light of the event which was taking place. The walls were at contrast with the dour mood that permeated the room. Clearing his throat, Thackary began to speak.

"It would seem, ah, that the deceased Mr Bliss has chosen a rather, um, _unconventional_ way of informing his beneficiaries of the items they shall receive. He has taken it upon himself to write letters, which he wishes for the recipients to read when they are alone. I realise this was not what you were expecting, however, as always, the deceased's wishes will be honoured." A small murmur of assent ran round the room, not populated by more than fifteen, but still crowded beyond measure.

Thackary stood up, and began to distribute letters.


	2. 2: My Esteemed Sister

**Author's note: I'm testing these out; if you like, please review! I need to know- the reviews will make me continue. Otherwise, ****I will delete the story. Feedback is always welcome.**

The last Will and Testament of Mr Bliss: Chapter Two: China

Dearest sister,

It would be a mistake to say we have never quarrelled, or spoken in anger to each other. In fact, no matter how bad things were, even after the third and final attempt that you orchestrated on my life, I never regarded you with hate in the defunct organ that is often called a heart. In fact, each and every attempt on my life simply made me admire you more. I never told you how much I admired you; how much you made me laugh; that you were the only reason I remained at home for so long. There are maybe three people in the whole of existence who have managed to elicit a glimmer of amusement from within my core. My sister, consider yourself accomplished. Even if you already do.

I have left you many of my possessions, and as you are my only remaining blood relative, by magical and human law, you are my next of kin. I hereby name you as the executor of my will; as you know, this makes you responsible for the distribution of my possessions. I know and I trust in you to make the necessary arrangements.

Included in the aforementioned possessions are the entire contents of my library, minus a few books that I have left to other needful persons, whatever mementoes I have left of the place we once called home (not much, but you might like the photos) and what would be regarded by many as the single most important possession that I own owned. An Echo Stone, ingrained with my memory. It's supercharged, and has a life of eight hours once independent of its cradle.

My sister, know that my last moments were filled with emotion for you; and that when I died, I wanted with all of myself to keep you safe from harm. You are the last of a long and dynastic family; if you weren't such a perfectionist, I would urge you to continue it, but I know your lifestyle is such that children would be in danger for at least seventy per cent of their life. I shall miss you, my dear. Keep safe, until we shall meet again.

Your brother and friend,

Bliss.


	3. 3: A Colleague and Friend of Old

**Authors Note: Thank you for all the lovely reviews! As is rather obvious, ****I have decided to continue with the story; please keep reviewing and tell me how to make it better. **

The Last Will and Testament of Mr Bliss: Chapter Two- A certain Mr Pleasant…

Skulduggery.

It has been, to say the least, a tumultuous few years; and we have each led our merry dances of life around each other before. But now, there is precious little time to indulge ourselves in the usual cryptic threats and warnings of futures yet to be seen.

I cannot pretend to know what is awaiting you in the future- I realised long ago that I am no seer- but even I can tell that the arrival of the Diablerie does not herald a long period of peace. Rather the opposite, if all truth should be told. I am sure you knew of my plans to be the next Grand Mage; I truly believe I could have influenced some measure of peace into our region. However, the Fates have decided it was not to be, and Atropos has appointed the time to cut the thread that binds my mortal body to life. While the manner of my death was most unpleasant, it was relatively quick, and a sacrifice for the greater good. Considering my heritage, is there any better way to end it all?

I've left you a few things, one of them being my favourite drink, the 1945 single malt. I'm not entirely sure how you will drink it; but I am sure you will find a way- another of your numerous infernal talents. Maybe I am wrong; perhaps you will be reduced to putting it on the mantelpiece and staring at it. Still, either way it amuses me.

Onto a slightly more serious matter- that of Miss Cain. She is not yet old enough to take care of herself, no matter how much she feels that she is. The young are dogmatic, and she is particularly strong-willed. However, she will need guidance- and I entrust her care, health, and general well-being to you. I do not pretend that she will be completely safe; you could hardly wrap her in magic-resistant cotton wool. You are wiser than you pretend to be, and underneath your well-earned vanity, I think you truly do care for her. She has changed you- brought your humanity forward, so to speak.

Alas, my time is running short, and I have not much energy left. I charge you with one last task: my sister, China. Look after her, Skulduggery, but do it with finesse, so that she is unaware. If she comes under harm, I will blame you.

Good luck, my friend.

Bliss

**Bliss refers to 'Atropos', who is the third member of the Moirae, the Fates in Ancient Greek Mythology. If you'd like to know more, please message or review and I will get back to you. **


	4. 4: That Enigmatic Tailor Of Mine

**Authors Note: ****Yeah, unfortunately, own me no! Shame really, but what else can ya do. Sorry been so long updating, I've been running out of ideas, so if you could review and tell me what else you'd like to see (if you would like to see anything else) then it would be most appreciated.**

The Last Will and Testament of Mr Bliss: Chapter Three- That Enigmatic Tailor of Mine…

Ghastly,

Unfortunately, if you are reading this, then it must have become rather painfully apparent that I will no longer be a regular customer of yours- or a recurring colleague. I would ask you to make a suit for my corpse to wear at my funeral**, **but it seems that it is not necessary.

To you, my colleague, I leave these words, and the knowledge that your only customer who had actually paid off their tab is dead. Treat both items with especial reverence.

We have worked together many times, but it is a sadness that I have been prone to put the mission before getting to know the people I am working with on it. I do not regret it as such; after all, if I had not, the missions would likely have never been successful. But I would have liked to know you all a little better, I suppose: You, Tanith, Skulduggery, and even young Valkyrie. I do not know any of you as well as I should do. Despite all this, I consider you my friend, which is a term that I am sure you realise I do not often use in regard to other humans or magicians.

The Faceless Ones were defeated, and quite roundly too- but this will not be the only attempt. You know that. I know it, and so does my sister- better than most, we know it. Billy Ray Sanguine and Dusk are formidable, especially now that you are without my expertise in dealing with them. Be wary of them, for they will try again. And if you are not on your guard, they very well might succeed.

It is my understanding now that Skulduggery is in a place where he cannot be reached, and that Solomon Wreath has swayed Valkyrie to the Necromancer path. It is not something I would have guided her to, but if she has the reported potential, then you and Tanith must help her on this path. If she gains enough power then she may well be able to bring Skulduggery back.

Upon reading that paragraph, you might wonder how a dead person knows such things, yes? You should know by now that I am no ordinary magic user. By the huge power of my family, and my constant use of an Echo Stone, my soul remains bound to it; that is to say, the body is dead, but the essence of who I am took the place of my imprint on the Echo Stone. It was only possible through several incantations, each hugely powerful and quite weakening. China knows of this, and it is she who has told me all that I need to know in reference to the state of play, if you will.

Speaking of my dear sister, I know you have never been on good terms. But I predict my death will ….sour her, towards life, towards good and towards the fight that is coming. You must try and get through to her. You and Tanith. For the first and last time in my life, and I use that word sparingly, please. Try to help her back.

My old friend, the time has come for me to depart this world, like so many of our kind before us. However, unlike those few, I am inordinately more powerful and stubborn to a fault. So it is natural then, that I refuse to leave, and instead entwine myself to a sort of half-life. I am content with it, and you should be also. Do not waste your time mourning me. It isn't worth it. And I fear, Mr Bespoke that you have much more…explosive things to deal with in the near future.

Bliss.


End file.
